TIGERLILLY CHUBB - Maggie's Blog

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Kikyou | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko | Kana | Midoriko | Beth | Natalie | Revy | Sailor Kagome | Kandi | Emma |

Extra Plugs: Revy | Kim | Beth | Sushy | Myun | Kanu | Sailor Kagome | Midoriko |

Daily Dirt
1. breakfast: pancakes or eggs? Mmm...pancakes :3
2. orange juice, coffee, or other? Orange juice, but mostly I like to drink coke 24/7 xD
3. lunch: eat out or brown bag it? eat out, all my food gets mushed up in the brown bag. >.O
4. dinner: eat out, order in, or cook it yourself? Order it, or cooking...bleh
5. favorite snack food? Anything salty xDD

Wow, writing this entry past midnight. It just shows how bored I am. O_O So, I've been doing people many jobs lately. I first helped out with Beatrice to update her site saying that she was grounded. Then I had to make this big fat banner sort of thing for my mom's cross stick business Midsummer Night Designs (WTF? That was going to be the name of a dumped graphic site I was almost going to do O.o). My mom kept on barking orders at me to do something else with the graphics. T_T I want my own way, thank you. She even said she would pay me, but I have no money as of yet.

Now, I'm an idiot. A pure idiot. I forgot my brother's birthday was tomorrow. I forgot to order that megatokyo poster "Capture the bear" or something like that. I did however had the idea of the Indie Jones boxset, but my brother has already received it and it doesn't seem much like a gift. Besides that, my brother (Nick) is turning eighteen! This is the day he can be convicted of murder and be thrown into jail for a life sentence! >.O AND he still hasn't gotten his drivers license. Nick is sort of like a kid in a way. A teenager still with a kid's heart. I like him that way, but I worry that he'll never move out when he's thirty and live at this house forever. It seems like it. I don't know. I feel sort of like in that mode of, "OMG, time is really going by fast and I want it to stop!" I remember thinking when I was little of which grade I would be in when Nick would be a senior. 8th grade. "Woah! THat's a long time away!" I would say. But that time is coming soon. I mean, it's now. Time is almost like the handywork of the devil. I miss the past, I worry about the future, and I feel bored of the present. I guess it's all that weird nostalgic feeling I'm having.

My brother is freakin' eighteen and I worry about it.

Just a few minutes ago, before opening up notepad and typing this up, I had a horrid nosebleed (it still hasn't stopped). It dripped over my keyboard and my hand was covered in the blood. I had to admire it for awhile. I'm one of those weirdass people who likes the color and the feeling of blood. I mean, I don't cut myself or anything but I just like gazing at it. I had the blood dry a bit on my hand, until I washed it off. There is some smudged on my door from the bloodmarks of my hand when opening the door and trying to get to the bathroom for some toilet paper. Blood...it's an amazing thing in a way. God, I sound like a psycho freak. xD

I guess it's because I've grown up with so many times I've scrapped myself that I love just seeing that scab. I have a scab on my foot right now. It bled today, a bit over my carpet (which I washed out with my handy kitchen sponge), because the scab wasn't all the way closed and I scrapped it again. I'm so weird.

So I talked to Beatrice and Kisu over the phone today. I always get a rush of excitement when I first hear anybody's voice. But then I forget what I'm going to say or I'm just plain old dumbfounded. Maybe just hearing somebody's voice, other than family, calms be a bit. I mean, I've been living in this house (or at the bookstore) with no sight of any friends or even idiots from school.

However that feeling of lonliness will end tomorrow (well, yesh, it is Sunday here xD even if it is past midnight). I will be going to live theater workshop, seeing old friends from past LTW camps and to be around other souls that aren't relatives.

Thank God.

Oh and to answer Kanu's question: I don't use any blogging script, I just write it out. I want to use a blog script like Greymatter or CuteNews, but I get lazy. T_T
Music: "Angelus" from Inuyasha Mood: I need to go to bed, got it?

Thursday, July 15, 2004 4:55 PM - The Terminal

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Kikyou | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko | Kana | Midoriko | Beth | Natalie | Revy | Sailor Kagome | Kandi | Emma |

Extra Plugs: kIKi | Myun | Kandi | Emma |

Daily Dirt
1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? A senior in high school in honors classes in the chamber ensemble...simple stuff...
2. How about 10? In Standford University for some career in literature, marine biology, medical, or graphic design. O_O
3. Any goals that you are still chasing? I don't want to get into it right now. >0<
4. Any goals that you have quit on? Tae Kwon Do...bleh.
5. Are you already doing what you have planned for? I guess. O_O

My head is so dizzy right now! I was just reading Fushigi Yuugi Vol. 11, got up to write this entry on the computer, and now my head is all light and dizzy. >-< Ugh...I hate this feeling.

Anyways, i found out why I was all "oh so depressed" in my last entry. x.X Guess...ah, well, if you're a boy you wouldn't understand. Well, my time of the month started later on in the day. xD So, I was all moody and PMS-y. I still am...but not as much.

Yesterday was my viola lesson and I learned the other two strings, the lower ones, and I haven't practiced since yesterday. Nothing much new with that...

I just came back from the movie theater and the mall with my dad and my brother. We saw "The Terminal". That is definately a feel good movie. My dad had trouble with Tom Hank's thick accent, but since I'm so used to thick accents, that I could understand almost every word of it. The peanut can almost made me go, "Oh god...is this like Grave of the Fireflies?" But it wasn't. I'll leave that suprise later for you to see. We almost went to see Anchorman, but we chose not to because it would be crowded and crap since it just came out last week.

After that, we went to the book store and I am so ecstatic. I finally got Vol. 11 of Fushigi Yuugi! FINALLY! So far I'm on page 82, I'm just taking a break with writing this entry. I also got RaXephon Vol. 2. A little Shoujo....A little Shounen....life is all about balance. xD

It's been non-stop thunderstorms since Saturday because it's finally Monsoon. It rained a bit this morning and now I believe it will rain again. Never at noon will it rain, only in the morning and evenings...weird.

Well, I'm starting to get sick of all this e-mails I'm getting. One from a hostee having a bunch of PHP problems. T_T Also applications for affiliation, hosting, and other sorts. Tonight will be a big night of me, editing images in PSP, adding new subdomains, creating other things that will make me crazy...ah well...that's life I guess. T_T

This is quite short, but I just wanted to write an entry so nobody thinks I'm all moody, depressed, and freaking out. Well, see ya! ^^V

Music: Change the World by V6 Mood: Lightheaded...oosh

Monday, July 12, 2004 12:40 PM - Online Blues

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Kikyou | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko | Kana | Midoriko | Beth | Natalie | Revy | Sailor Kagome |

Extra Plugs: Kim | Janki | Beth | Revy | Myun | Risa | Sailor Kagome |

Daily Dirt
They haven't updated Daily Dirt yet...*sigh*

I'm not really supposed to be on the computer right now, but what the hey? I can't stop thinking over everything. It's mostly my own friendships with people, it makes me fret about it. My real life ones and my online ones. This could probably be called the summer where I got hurt by people the most. Or I worry about my own friends being hurt by me. Maybe I'm just slowly being tortured by lonliness. I haven't eaten correctly for the past week, I skip almost two meals each day and live in my room all the time. I'm being a hermit for god's sake. I'm really scared of myself nowadays. Some people probably can't even tell that I am, because I try to hide it with my personality, but inside of me, I don't feel that way of excited and weird. Last night I couldn't fall asleep until 2 hours later. My mind is that busy with thoughts. I had a dream about school. Sure there were the weird things (like viking ships on the lower field, but whatever), but once I woke up, I didn't want some of the memories back. I feel like I'm hurting everyone, when I'm trying not to. It's hard to keep two totally different lives at once. Most people don't get so involved with the online world, but I have. Maybe I'm just yearning to be with real people. However, when I am with real people, I get easily frustrated and easily hurt. Heh, sometimes I think maybe just hearing the voices of my online friends will calm me a bit.

To bring even more stress to my life, my blending contest. Kanu stepped out of it and I read her rant on her blog and I suddenly became all the more depressed. I can't take all this hurt anymore or hurting other people's feelings! I feel like I'm a wimp, but that's just me. I got my first angered e-mail at me for my Ambition Review site because I had to turn down the site since they didn't follow the rules. I don't want people to hate me just for what I'm trying to say to them. T_T;

Well, to change subjects, next week is Live Theater Workshop. Wondering what that is? Well, LTW, I've been going there since the end of fourth grade for an acting camp. This will be my fourth year. For the whole year, after last year's performance, I've been plagued by my big fat mistake as the pharoah. I said my line so wrong that I laughed half to death in a death scene. How embarrasing! O.< Plus I had two roles in that play, so I had to change in like 10 seconds to robes for the pharoah, and this weird thing that was all grassy for the soul tree or something like that. Even just talking about it makes me frustrated with myself. I just hope, once I enter those doors, Dana will call me Baloo again like she did last year and forget what I did. T_T Ah, I've also been thinking of different kind of character ideas. Like an obsessive compulsive person, a samurai guy (you know, the cheesy kind) for this game called Hitch hiker where the people pretend to be driving and then pick you up and you have to act like a weird person, as everybody else will in the car. In the comments, if you could be so kind, to give me some ideas for weird characters, or IM me one...I just don't want to become blank or something. But I have changed throughout the year, so I might think of something then and there...but I just want to be prepared. xD

Last night, the electricity went out. I freaked out because I was in my room and it suddenly turned pitch black. Once I opened the door, after tripping on many things in my room, the lights came back on. I chose to go to bed then. Ihave a flashlight right now there. w00t.

Tonight is I love the 90s and also I need to put up the poll for the blending contest along with the voting badges for people to put on their sites. Okay, I gotta go...see ya :)

Music: "A Different City" by Modest Mouse Mood: Got the blues

Sunday, July 11, 2004 11:43 AM - Another New Layout -_-

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Kikyou | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko | Kana | Midoriko | Beth | Natalie | Revy | Sailor Kagome |

Extra Plugs: Myun | kIKi | Amy | Birdy | Beth | Revy | Midoriko | Janki | Sango | Fiona | Kim | Justin | MidoriChi | Kassy | Risa |

Daily Dirt
1. Pool party or picnic? Pool party
2. Frisbee or volleyball? Volleybal, nyah
3. Amusement park or local fair? Amusement park *_*
4. Ice cream or sno-cone? Ice cream
5. Hot dog or hamburger? Hot dog.

Wow, that was an easy daily dirt. O_O;; Anyways, sorry that I haven't updated for the past few days. In fact, I've been so busy with other things that I didn't even have time to comment on everyone's blogs! AUGH! One reason was for the past few weeks, it's been relatives galore. x.X Also, just yesterday, I finished watching my whole entire Inuyasha boxset of 102 episodes. Now I have to get the other imported boxsets! >.O

So, in happiness of finally finishing all those episodes and catching up a bit with everything, I've made an Inuyasha layout featuring Inuyasha in all his forms, demon, hanyou, and human. All of them are manga drawings, I'm really proud of it. And it was really hard trying to find the right image for the demon one, so I took an excerpt from, I believe, Vol. 19 of the series. You know, it's episode 52/51 of the anime series. Also, this is one of my first abstract arts. I've been working hard on abstract art lately.

Well, tomorrow MEHVE.COM's blending contest will end tomorrow and I'll have to make a poll thing that will be up for two weeks. x.X Also, "I love the 90s" starts on vh1, oh god, I better watch that too!! NYAH x.X Lately, I've been having a horde of blending entries (well, about two or so everyday) and also people asking to be hosted by me. Ack, some of them don't even follow the rules! I'm getting so annoyed by it. Ah, well, that's life. x.X

I haven't been working much on Manga Mangoes, that's for sure. However, I have finished three sections. w00t. ^^

Okay, right before my viola lesson last week, I was opening my case to practice a bit and notice my first string all chewed off! WAUGH! T_T So, I got a replacement string after practice at Beaver's Bandbox instead of at Southwest Strings. I tried replacing the string, only to get annoyed, impatient, so I practiced, like my teacher told me to, with the three strings with my three songs I have to practice. There is this one song that is really, really fast, and since I'm not used to the third string much, (which is now the second string), I keep on messing up. x.X Darn you Song of the Wind! NYAH!

Yesterday, my grandma came over to visit. Longest visit in my life. In the first twenty minutes, I snuck up stairs to my room and watched like 99-102 episodes of Inuyasha on my computer. The topic of what they were talking about, didn't interest me, besides that I didn't know what the HECK they were talking about. Soon, Nick, came crashing into my room, lying to me that Dad needed my help. I was thinking it was something with computers, since that's the only use in the family I have. You do not know how much praise my Dad or my Mom gives me whenever I save them from a stupid error or a virus on the computer. Or even the sound not working. T_T Oi vey...and I used to be the one, back before I didn't work on sites and stuff, the computer illiterate one and was dependant on my dad or mom. >.O But, what instead dad was asking where I was. I couldn't believe it! I was upstairs for over an hour and you didn't even see me?! WTF? So, I stayed, ate some hotdogs, and had a good talk with my family. Grandma asked if she could see my dance recital DVD because she didn't go and see the recital, infact, my mom lied to Grandma (who is my mom's mother-in-law, heh) of the date and purposefully didn't want Grandma to come. xD So, like, I had to zip through with the PS2 as our DVD player (because our usual DVD player can't scan) and find all my dances, while trying to hide the opening title date. x.X Oi vey...after that, Dad showed Grandma my room because, I used to not have any curtains and Grandma was worried about that. Now I have two wallscrolls and stuff as my curtains. Anyways, Dad was trying to tell Grandma who Inuyasha was (since I have a wallscroll of that) and said he was a cat man. My god! I screamed at him. When he said that, it sounded as if it was a cheesy 80's cartoon that was a spin-off of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I kept on correcting him saying that he's a half-demon dog. Ugh...my dad messes up with everything.

Soon a the first monsoon storm of the summer started. I had to turn off the computer because the lightning was really close to our house. Grandma left and I worked on this new layout. Before going to bed, I realized, I had no back pain. Nothing. Now, I'm not an old person, I'm only 13, but I usually have neck pain or back pain when I'm going to bed, but I had zero and I had my best sleep for a long time. Ah...so nice...
Music: "No More Words" by Ayumi Hamasaki Mood: Eh...okay? o.O

Tuesday, July 6, 2004 8:04 PM - Better make this fast...

Monday, July 5, 2004 0:32 AM - Independence Day! w00t

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Kikyou | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko | Kana | Midoriko | Beth | Natalie | Revy | Sailor Kagome |

Extra Plugs: Midoriko | Myun | Kim | kIKi | Revy | Kikyou | Sarah |

Daily Dirt
1. Have you had the same bestfriend everysence you were little? No, almost though...*sigh*
2. How many friends to you have? Few, let's just say, few
3. Do you have some male friends? Hell yeah, my first friend ever was a boy xD
4. Whats the worst fight you've been in? When I was five or six and I started beating up some stupid kids at McDonalds play ground area. Got a bloodied up nose and lost television for a few weeks, back then TV was my sacred ground.
5. Whats the dumbest fight you've been in? It wasn't a fight, I was just kicking some guy in the second grade and saying he was a soccer ball, I was pretty stupid and lost my recess time. >.<

So, it's almost 1 AM. Wow, I'm staying up too late for July 4th, but who cares? Right now it's July the 5th and I can stop being patriotic. In fact, I wasn't very patriotic today. I didn't wear any red, white, and blue, instead, I'm wearing my "I'm blogging this." shirt that is a black and my regular old shorts. I guess I was being a rebel. xD Haha, ph34r m3! Anyways, lemme talk about my July the 4th from 8:39pm to 9:30pm.

We were going to see some fireworks, the free way, by going to a plaza and sitting on the chairs owned by Subway and watch the El Conquistidor/Hilton resort shoot off their fireworks. Of course, once we came by, the chairs and tables were chained together, so you couldn't sit there. I suggested that we could see on the hood of the car, but of course, Dad said that we could go to the other side of the street to Fry's grocery store, get some coke (I got some nice, cold C2 coke). It was surprisingly opened and Dad and I went inside, got almost everything that was a Coca-Cola product. xD It was pathetic. All the people who worked there were like high schoolers. o.O I'm so used to old retired people doing those things...anyways, while coming out, there was this teenager outside and I fretted that it was some murderer, theif, whatever it could be, so I pushed my dad to the side with my body trying to make him not move towards that boy. Instead I tripped my dad and got yelled at. >.O We got to the car and saw Nick just hanging out in the car. Mom didn't come btw, she was too tired. So, there was this wall by the near edge of the road. We drove there, which was just a few seconds away. Got out of the car (excluding Nick) and my dad and I got on top of the brick wall. I sat there, sipping down the C2 coke. Yummy! :3 Anyways, Dad suddenly jumped off the wall, and went down to the near edge of the road. The thing was on a hill, so he went to the end of the hill. Oh yeah, before that, some family came by and a kind man (the father) asked if it was a good place to watch the fireworks. I was begining to explain to the father, but dad interrupted me and said the words I was going to say...weird. Anyways, so I followd Dad down the hill and despite my ass hurting a lot near the end of the 20 minute firework show, I kept on zoning out like I was stoned or something. Thinking about my future, my work to be finished for mehve.com, whatever I could think of. The end was spectacular and once it was done, we went back up the hill and got back in the car and drove home.

I said good night to mom and worked on mehve.com's new layout for the rest of the night. And now, I will say farewell for I need to go to bed...*sigh* I sometimes wish to just stay up till dawn and then go to bed, but I never can do it whenever I've been up for too long. Oh, it's almost going to be 1 am in 9 minutes. G'night, folks.

Music: Like a Lizard from Serial Experiments LAIN OST Mood: Sleepy, zoned out

Wednesday, June 30, 2004 11:19 PM - Bon Voyage to le Merkey.net

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Kikyou | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko | Kana | Midoriko | Beth |

Extra Plugs: Beth | kIKi | Nica | Myun | Midoriko | Nikki | Michelle | Amy |

Daily Dirt
1. NSYNC or the Backstreet Boys? NSYNC >.<
2. Mary-Kate or Ashley? Mary-Kate, Ashley sounds like a stripper name. xDD
3. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones? THE BEATLES! O_O
4. Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera? Christina Aguilera...bleh.
5. Lindsay Lohan o Hilary Duff? OH GOD! I guess...um...NO ONEEEEE!!!

Bon voyage to le Merkey.Net, a good messageboard I must say that I've been going to for over a year. However, for the next few weeks, I will keep as far away from it as possible after a remark that went too far. Angered me and there has been many of it. I've also lost some interest to it, I guess...Whatever...I guess it had it's downfall starting with the nigritude ultramarine, despite winning, we gained members but they were all worthless. I have more reasons, but I feel like going away from it for a while till all of this NU crap is starting to clear up and finish. Besides, I'm busy with other online crap in my life.

Whatever...

Besides, I've found a new board called KTD. I love it to death! Everyone is so nice, and you can be easily known! No one is snipping at each other by sexist issues, whatever it might be, and my close blog friends go to it also! I just love it there. :) This might be a new replacement for merkey.net for a while, I guess...

So I worked on two sections for Manga Mangoes today, Alice 19th and Ceres: Celestial Legend and some other crap. :P I so want this project to get finished, ARRRGH!! o(>0<)o

Anyways, it's funny...today I got a giftie from Michelle (which I adore! ^^), and I gave a giftie to kIKi. Ah, the gift keeps on giving. xD

Today I had, yet another, viola lesson. There was this one excersise that Gretchen was showing me. It's where you put the viola's handle against the wall and you hold it on your shoulder and hold with your other hand on the elbow and try to "glue" the elbow down while playing the E string...that might sound confusing, but whatever...anyways, when I was playing a song doing that, I suddenly slipped my viola and crashed on the FLOOR! I freaked out since it made a loud clatter noise. I picked it up and it was minorly chipped...I guess it can be shown that it's loved. But thank god it's a free rental from my school. xD

I've lately been talking to Nikki and Beatrice over IM, really fun talks. ^^

There wasn't much that happened today, I guess. My brother, Nick, got his director's cut from his filming class for his groups 22 minute film called "Erik Van Hosen. PI." It's really hilarious, I love it! xDD I wish I can show it to you guys, maybe I can show some screencaps since it's on DVD and I can easily do that on the computer. :P

Very minor entry...I just wanted to blog..ooh! I want to make a site that lists all my anime and manga o(o_O)o Yeah, I've been bored lately. xDDD

[edit] Oh yeah, I'm going to have my blood drawn either tomorrow or on Friday....w00t. >0<

Music: Shurai! Seiryuu Shichi Seishi from Fushigi Yuugi Mood: Bleh...bored.

Monday, June 28, 2004 4:58 PM - Sleeping In is Bad for your Brain Cells

Bleh...that's all really with that. I've been working on it all this afternoon. In other news, really, this is like my morning. I woke up at past noon today. x.X;; So, I'm still sleepy and a zombie. I had rice for breakfast/lunch and slumped upstairs to work on Manga Mangoes. x.X ph34r m3 for being a zombie.

The reason why I didn't update as much as I would like to, was because I had Margaret over for a sleepover. In fact, first I was called to Margaret's house to just swim. I got a sunburn on my cheeks, and some scratches. ;_; So, anyways, we swam in the pool for quite a long time, perhaps the whole afternoon. We kept on talking about different manga and anime. We went on about Inuyasha and how it should end, corny endings. xDD One of them was where Inuyasha or Kagome (preferably Kagome) would die by Naraku and Inuyasha would scream for 50 pages straight. xDD Then Inuyasha would wander the Earth like an idiot. There was more stuff, but due to sleeping in can be bad for your brain cells, I forgot it. x.X Kill me with a spork. Suddenly, Margaret suggested that she could sleepover at my house. O_O;; I said yes, hoping that she wouldn't be just "mooching" off of me for my manga and anime...but she did. SHE FREAKING DID. Once we came over to my house, (just by walking, because we live in the same neighborhood), she grabbed Naruto Vol. 1 and started reading it. I sat on the computer, a bit irritated. We were silent for a long time, and I turned grumpy. I tried striking up conversations with her, but it didn't work. I even shown her the original song of Bang, Bang by Nancy Sinatra and she went, "Ew! Cher does it better!" *sigh* No one can appreciate 50's/60's songs anymore by today's youth o(;_;)o So after that, we went downstairs, and ate pizza, in silence. My mom was watching her show on City Confidential and Margaret kept on making fun of it, which hurt my feelings because I like that show and she kept on talking out loud on the good parts. Soon, I chose to make her watch Inuyasha. I made a lot of jokes and we laughed and talked, but later on in the night, I got irritable and Margaret's jokes weren't good...nope...not at all. Soon, it was light's off, and I tried sleeping on the chair by the couch, but I couldn't. I was hoping she would fall asleep soon, but she didn't because she was still freakin' reading! O.< The reason why was because I was going to sneak upstairs so I didn't seem rude. So, I chose to make the step, and got out of the chair. Margaret said smugly to me, "I was wondering when you were going to your bedroom." God, how rude! Especially since I wanted to be kind and sleep in the living room along with her, but I couldn't. I went upstairs and had the best sleep in my life. I tried sleeping in, but what do I find, my mom shaking my bed to wake me up because MARGARET WAS UP ALREADY. I looked back at my clock and noticed it was freakin' 5 am in the morning. O_O WTF? I whined at my mom and fell back asleep, my mom said that she could drive Margaret home. Sometime durring 6-8 am, I woke up to Margaret coming into my room, i was thinking she was just packing up so that my mom could drive her home, but it wasn't true. She went over to my BOOKCASE, poked me to see if I was awake (really had no less on my stomach) and said my name really loud. She then went through my manga collection and even dropped a whole lot of my books. I JUST ORGANIZED IT! GOD ALMIGHTY! My mom woke me up at 8 am saying that Margaret was still downstairs because she had asked Margaret if she wanted to go home, but she answered rudely to my mom that nobody would there. WTF? I went downstairs, a lot irritable because I didn't get much sleep and watched Inuyasha some more with her. I was annoyed, a lot annoyed. She stole my manga without my permission and was just using me to read manga and see my anime. What kind of a friend is that?!? I've always worried about these things that my friends just use me because of my experience with manga and anime. I feel hurt and doesn't she notice I'm a human being, i'm someone who stands up for her, I want to be her friend? But no! That doesn't happen! I wanted to cry so badly because it hurts my feelings. Once Dad drove her home, I didn't really say goodbye to her becaue before leaving she asked if she could borrow my Fruits Basket Vol. 3 and she's just going to leave for New York soon. Hell no! Overall, I'm not going to have a sleepover with anyone at my house, the only good sleepovers I had with (in the past) were with Molly and my ex-best friend Kaarin (who went with the popular people and forgot about me ;_; Long story, one reason for my two year long depression). I told my mom about it and she said that would be good, even my dad suggested it to me. I'm already depressed about Megan moving, now this with Margaret?! WTF is going on?!? So here I am, frustrated with that occurence. God..I'm so annoyed. So, today I got the most sleep in a long time, but I don't like it. It doesn't make the day seem longer how I like it.

*sigh*

So that's most of my rant...Now I kow why I don't want to be around people xD

Music: Dearest by Ayumi Hamasaki from Inuyasha Mood: Annoyed

Saturday, June 26, 2004 1:29 PM - ...

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Kikyou | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko | Kana | Midoriko |

Extra Plugs: Myun | Amy | Midoriko | Janki | Kim | Beatrice | Midoriko
Daily Dirt
1. What's the most common spam mail do you receive? Domain offers (even though I already have a freakin' domain xD) and male enhancement...very disgusting stuff. x_X
2. How many did you get roughly in a day? When I had hotmail, I got like 30 or so, now that I use Neomail it's like 3 - 9 a day. -_- But lately, I haven't gotten any spam. O_O
3. Are there any spyware or foreign objects installed in your PC without your knowledge? (Name them) A lot. I try to get rid of them, but I can't. -_- One is ThunkGrey Window, Lycos Sidesearch, there is something else...but I forget the name. x_X IF ANYONE knows how to get rid of such ANNOYING things, please tell me!!
4. Has any of those cause any problems with your PC? Thunkgrey Window is the most annoying thing. I don't know how to get rid of the toolbar and whenever I try to close it, it comes back. After getting rid of it a few times on different pages, it goes away. But then it comes back when I restart the Internet or something. It's weird and I WANT IT DEAD. >:O
5. How often do you have to recover your PC (reformat to like you just bought it from the store)? Dunno...

So, I stayed up too late last night. Originally, I went and settled in bed at 12:30 AM, however I couldn't go to sleep an hour later. So I slept in past 11AM, I'm still waking up.

Yesterday was the going away party, even though we had a fun time and everyone was going crazy over the weird poem I wrote and the drawings, before we could play Apples to Apples, the signature game that our whole group of friends love, my Dad came and picked me up. The card that I remember that Rachel's sister, Leah, put down was Important. For some odd reason, I think this will be the only card I'll remember with significance of that surprise farewell party. Maybe I'm just weirding out from shock of knowing Megan is moving, but I guess I will always remember that word. I dunno...

Thank you to all my extra plugs and even others that I talked to last night, like Kanu, for commenting on my last entry about Megan moving. It really makes me feel good and it let's me know that I do have friends all over the place, and not just here in little old Tucson. Heh...I can't make a crying happy face with my emoticon letter skills. o(‘;_;‘)o

So today, I'm cleaning my manga collection, once again, like I usually do. After that, I'm going to watch some Inuyasha from my boxset. I just want to make myself laugh again other than with watching Monk like last night. Even though I did laugh, it was because of just a TV show, I want something to make me happy that's real. *sigh* Maybe I'm just going through that weird phase of wanting a real friend around like I had yesterday. Meh...I just want some people to talk to me, on the phone, not through IM or e-mail...But it's kinda hard to do that. I don't know my IRL friend's phone numbers because of well, they aren't in the directory. x.X;; Ugh...

In other news, I'm going to be part of the staff for Kim's KKD!! Yay! ^^ That makes me happy, I just need to talk to Kim over IM about the position and other stuff. ^_~

So, that's all...

Music: Twisted Nerve from Kill Bill Vol. 1 Mood: Confused, bleh....

Friday, June 25, 2004 2:41 PM - :( *sad*

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Melody | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko | Kana |

Extra Plugs: Myun | Beatrice | Nica | kIKi | Kim | Nikki | Nekoteko | Kana

Daily Dirt
Obviously if you're reading this you have a blog/journal and or site.
1.What started you on the idea? I wanted to rant about my days, if you wanna know and have communication with people. xD
2. How did you find the whole underground world of bloggage and personal sites? A long time ago with Miche's personal site. I now host her. xD
3. Do you have friends who are blog/site people? Yes, indeed
4. Do you know anyone in person thats a blog/site people.. I mean person. Yes, but she owns a Xanga. x_X
5. Who are some blog/site people persons you admire? Lots, mostly my friend's blogs etc.

Here I am, listening to Kill Bill soundtrack, tapping my feet to the beat of the music, knowing that in an hour I will have my final farewell to a good friend...make that a good, insane friend. I found out yesterday from Rachel that Megan is moving to Alaska. That's a whole country (USA) away from where I live in Arizona. I know I still can have communication with her through e-mail, IM, or phone calls, but still, I feel suddenly like "another one has fallen." I'm one friend down in my tiny group of friends at school. -_- I worry how she won't be able to get good manga from me anymore. xD Haha...But still, all the inside jokes and pranks we did. *sigh* I feel depressed. I've been trying hard to be strong and not to cry, I just hope I won't there. The hardest thing was making the gift. I insisted on a gift for the surprise party today on Rachel, so I'm doing one. But while wrapping the gift (a purple journal, a Cat's Lover thingy, and a friendship thingy, along with a drawing of all my friends with cat ears etc., a card all in Japanese/Katakana with chibis, and a poem called Twisted Philosophy) I broke down. I may never see her again, probably never in the rest of my life and I'm hoping to god that it won't happen. Contact through internet isn't great. Being around friends, real people makes me know they are REAL. It's hard knowing that I have more online friends than in real life. -_- *sigh* I'm just all depressed.

I got the phone call from Rachel after I just got home from seeing the Stepford Wives (which was pretty good, I must say ^^;). It was a message on the answering machine. It went like this "Maggie, please call me back at (phone number)! Megan is gone." God that freaked the freakin' crap out of me. I repeated it three times to hear if I missed any other information. But I didn't. It sounded like Megan had freakin' died. I didn't like that there was no information and that Rachel sounded like there was a catastrophy. Kill me with a spork. So, I called back and it was busy. I called again, alas it was busy. Finally I called and found out that Rachel wanted me to come to a surprise party for Megan. w00t. So here I am, waiting for 4pm (or 3:30) to go onto my computer clock. -_-

Thanks to everyone who commented on my new layout! I didn't expect that it was really good. O_O;; The most hard thing about the layout was choosing the colors, I didn't want it to be too drastic or too blinding. So thank you for those comments on the new layout. ^_^ I actually think at times that I'm a horrible webdesigner. xDD

And to Beatrice: Ooh! You have Whisper of the Heart! *kills thee* xD Must have it!! xDD

So that's all...ooh, my favorite song is playing on the Kill Bill CD: The Flower of Carnage by Meiko Kaji. ^___^

Music: Flower of Carnage by Meiko Kaji from Kill Bill Vol. 1 Mood: Depressed, but excited O.o;;

Wednesday, June 23, 2004 8:49 PM - New Layout and Viola

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Melody | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy | Beatrice | Amy 2 |

Extra Plugs: Myun | Kim | kIKi | Janki | Beatrice | Amy 2 | Nekoteko

1. Which is/was your favourite movie? Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
2. Why did you like it? It was my first ever anime that I saw and it's by the master of Japanese Animation, Hayao Miyazaki! I loved Nausicaa and her mehve, god her mehve! I was insane about it. I soon became a chatterbox about saving the ecosystem. I was crazy.
3. What was it that made you wanna see it? My brother got it from his homeroom teacher, a copy all in subtitles, and I was interested and curious. Plus, I wanted to bug my brother. xD
4. Is it worth seeing? Why? Hell yeah! It's freakin' awesome!
5. On a scale from 1-10 where would you rate it? 10, 10, 10, 10!!!!!! I can't wait for the DVD to come out this fall!! ^_^ Uma Thurman is going to be part of the English Dub cast. ^^6

Ah, crap! My right leg fell asleep. *slaps it a couple of times* Okay, there we go, it's back to normal.

So, I finished a new layout for Tigerlilly Chubb! Finally I have a layout featuring where mehve came from! Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind! Featuring Nausicaa, Teto (the fox squirrel), and the mehve. Yes, here's my dear mehve for the full view and designs: (note: click to enlarge)

Most people haven't even seen this movie, Hayao Miyazaki's first movie ever! O_< However, people will be lucky this fall. FINALLY Disney is bringing out the R1 DVD with all the special features I could die for. Along with Porco Rosso and My Neighbor Totoro. :D *faints* I already have Totoro, but I've seen Porco Rosso a long time ago, but I don't have the video. x.X So far, of Miyazaki and Takahata's movies, I have:

+Princess Mononoke (fansub tape and DVD)
+Laputa: Castle in the Sky (Import DVD and R1 DVD)
+Spirited Away (DVD)
+Kiki's Delivery Service (Subtitle tape and DVD)
+Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind (Fansub tape)
+Grave of the Fireflies (DVD)
+My Neighbor Totoro (tape w/ old English dub x_X)
+Pom Poko (fansub tape)

Oh, I need to get Whisper of the Heart! *cries* And the manga!

Sooo...I'm waiting this fall. Very excited. You can find out more about this (and the new film of Howl's Moving Castle!!!) at nausicaa.net...*faints*

Okay, gotta get out of the anime otaku persona! (I actually saw a shirt at R-Galaxy that said "Anime Junkie", but I didn't get it, instead I got a Nausicaa shirt x.X)

So, with the group blog, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU GUYS ON AIM! *freaks out* We need to set up some time. I'm free all the time, except for tomorrow because I'm going downtown. Sometimes I just forget to sign on Trillian. x.X I like the idea of Moof, it sounds like "moo"...um...wait...moo...O_O *stares* If anybody knows what moo means back from the 1950's-60's, RUN AWAY! Anybody who would like to know, just ask. O_O *coughs*

So, I had my viola lesson today. I have to practice four songs. x_X All Bach. I've been taking breaks from my computer and been walking over to my bed and playing my viola. It's nice to play.

Ooh! My favorite Nausicaa song is playing! *freaks*

Okay...so anyways, kIKi, I haven't seen you on AIM at all. ;_; *cries* Where are you???

Oh! I need to go and work on the viola again. My mom wants me to.

So, yeah, that's all....

Music: "Ohmu to no Kouryuu" from Nausicaa Soundtrack Mood: Bleh..

Tuesday, June 22, 2004 3:05 PM - Group Blog

Bow Before the Plugs: Fiona | Janki | Michelle | Sarah | Myun | Melody | kIKi | Kim | Nica | Kisu | Nene | Kanu | MidoriChi | Maaria | Ayu | Amy | Kassy | Nikki | Christy

Extra Plugs: Myun | Kim | kIKi | Nikki | Christy

1. What kind of grades did you make/are you making while in school? I always get straight A's, and sometimes a B+ in math like last year, but I always get A's usually.
2. What kind of student were you? Studious, intelligent, "perfect role model", "teacher's pet", never gets in trouble.
3. What was did you do while you were bored in class? Doodle my characters on my worksheets or notebooks. >.O
4. What subject did you struggle in the most? The one you were good at? I struggle with Math, I don't like it at ALL. Ick...Language Arts and Science are my best subjects.
5. What do you regret the most about school? Having to wake up early and procrastinating projects till the day before due date. x.X

First things first, I'm having a blending contest on my domain. Please join it or else I shall shoot my chicken cannon at you...*coughs*

So, I'm doing a group blog with kIKi, Myun, and Janki. kIKi told me I can host it. w00t. So, all that we need to do is think up names for it. And here I come with a long list of names for the blog. Most of them comes from soundtracks from Studio Ghibli. ph34r 17. So, please, kIKi, Myun, and Janki tell me which one you like or whatever....bleh...

kibou = hope
kaonajimi = friend
kaonajimi no kibou
shin'yuu - close (friend)
Jikan = Time
Ketsui = Decision
Unmei no Ito = Thread of Fate
Yuuki = Courage
Hotaru = Fireflies
From Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind (note: This is where "mehve" comes from)
Tooi Hibi = The Days Long Gone
Kaze no Densetsu = The Legend of Wind
Tani he no Michi = The Road to the Valley
Rekuiemu = Requiem
From Laputa: The Castle in the Sky
Kimi wo Nosete = Carrying You
Jikan no Shiro = The Castle of Time
Kuuchuu Sampo = Walking in Midair
Moshimo Sora wo Tobetara = If I can Fly
From My Neighbor Totoro
Yuugure no Kaze = Evening Wind
Kaze no Toorimichi = The Path of Wind
Maigo = A Lost Child
From Kiki's Delivery Service
Hareta Hi ni...= On a Clear Day...
Tobenai! = I can't fly!
Bou-Hikou no Jiyuu no Bouken Gou = The Adventure of Freedom, Out of Control
Kaze no Oka = Windy Hill
Sekai-tte Hiroi Ha = The World is so Vast
Komorebi no Roji = An Alley of Sunlight Filtering through Trees
Meguru Kisetu = Turning Seasons
Watashi no Kokoro = My Heart
Omoide ga Kakenukete Yuku = Memories are Running Through
Tasogare no Maigotachi - Lost Children in Twilight
Suki nanoni! = In Spite of Love!
Mahou no Nukumori = The Warmth of Magic
From Princess Mononoke
Tatari Gami= The Curse God
Shi to Sei no Adagio = The Adagio of Death and Life
Ikiro = Live
From Spirited Away
Itsumo Nando Demo = Always with Me
Shiroi Ryu = White Dragon
Umi = Sea
Samishii, Samishii = I'm Lonely, Lonely
Inochi no Namae = The Name of Life
From Howl's Moving Castle
Akatsuki no Yuuwaku = Dawn's Temptation
From Grave of the Fireflies
Umi he = To the Ocean
Shoka = Early Summer
Ike no Hotori = At the Shore of the Pond
Yuuyake = Sunset Colors
Ogawa no Hotowa = By the Side of the Brook
Hotaru no Iru Yuugure = Twilight with Fireflies
Sakura no Shita = Under the Cherry Blossoms
From Pom Poko
Fuunkyuu no Mai = Dance of Troublesome Times
Haru no Yorokobi = Spring Joy
Itsu demo Dare ka ga = "Always, someone is..."
Genkisetsu = Spirited Season
From Only Yesterday
Omohide Poroporo = Only Yesterday
Teremtès = Genesis

Well...that's all I could get. :P So, yep....

Music: My Neighbor Totoro from Perfect Animage Mood: O_<